why are you alive? why do you get up every day? do you need a purpose for your life do you need a meaning for your life?
do you think this is unimportant navel gazing?
if you do think that
then you are wrong.
you prove it yourself.
because you are still alive. so whether you like it or not, you have made the choice to continue living. maybe it is a subconscious choice, but you have still made it. so you must have some reason to be alive, regardless of how unwilling you are to acknowledge this.