criticism - alive why

criticism

criticism causes typical responses in most people

before examining the truth of the criticism
we often have an emotional reaction
which most people describe as hurt

an important thing for the recipient
is whether the criticism has any truth
the reaction should involve acknowledging any truth
at least firstly internally

another important thing for the recipient is whether
the criticism is intended to be humorous

humour can be kindly and mutual or shared
or it can be harsh and intended to hurt
making that decision is important

if the criticism is not shared humour and not true
it is unethical behaviour

if the criticism is not shared humour but is true
it may be useful advice
but normally this should be given with care and privacy

if the criticism is shared humour and not true
it is acceptable to all
as the shared humour means no problem

if the criticism is shared humour but true
it is also acceptable by agreement
as the shared humour means the recipient
has acknowledged the truth
and can cope with it

our culture has come to consider the concept of criticism
in a simplistic, reactive way
to simply object to criticism
on the grounds that it is hurtful or offensive
misses all the above categories

hurtful or offensive simply means that the recipient
had a negative emotional reaction
it does not imply ethical fault

the 'hurt' or offense reaction may be appropriate or not
but in itself it means simply this:
that something needs to be adjusted
either in the person getting or giving the criticism

one example might be that the recipient
needs to be less sensitive
ie to not surrender to emotions so easily

a number of such examples are evident these days
the criticism of religions is practically taboo
mention of race or ethnicity can be incendiary
and sexual preferences can become taboo

keeping these topics in cotton wool
by suppression
only worsens the emotional over reactivity
to criticism
better to have open discussion and humour
to release all the fear and silence